Submitted by Cain Mosni
In light of recent events, it seems that I should take a moment to contemplate the red flags springing up around our nation. I am speaking, of course, of the growing numbers of self-induced zombification.
A select few of us (those who would be reading this, and logging on to 401AK47.COM) are keeping a vigil watch and an open ear; for we few are aware that we are witnessing the beginning of the zombie apocalypse. There it is! I said it! A few weeks ago, as we are all aware, a man was found eating the face off another man. I will not re-hash the story because I’m sure we all know it and have formed our own opinions on the matter.
Following the incident in Miami, more reports of… well, zombification have risen. A case in Louisiana, now a mother in Texas, and another in Maryland. Authorities and the media have named the culprit as bath salts. OK… there is a new unregulated drug available to the public that causes zombie-like characteristics. In a rational world, case closed. Pull the substance, make it aware to consumers, and no one else is stupid enough to consume the product. Crisis averted… right?
We do NOT live in a rational world, and furthermore we are subjugated daily to the very plague responsible for the downfall of our species. Simply put, it is people. Everyone knows how bad this stuff is, but people still use it. It is the stupidity and lack of responsibility for their actions (that these people seem to care nothing about), that is bringing on the zombie apocalypse.
I am not blaming all people. In fact, there are large groups of people that do more good in this world than we are aware of. No, I am speaking specifically of that mob of people that sets common sense and rationale aside for hedonistic self-indulgence and the prospect of “a good time”.
Let us refer from here on to the idiots (let’s face it, they are only thinking with the ID region of their brains) as “people” and the conscientious as “persons”. After all, a person can be awesome, but let’s face it… people suck!
No doubt, there are skeptics among us that would argue that people are not turning into zombies because they are not dying first, then reanimating and going after our brains, and it isn’t contagious. In the famous words of a young yellow icon*, “au contraire mon frere”!
The people who would seek to plague us, generally are not people that diversify their friendships. There is a certain disregard for the responsibility of life in all its fragility and wonder. These people have lost the capacity to enjoy life for the sake of being alive. There is a disconnection from the excitement of being alive. People have traded their lust for life, for the rush of amphetamines. When the meth runs out, bath salts are available and they will do ANYTHING to feed the addiction to the rush.
Is that living?…
Once the poison of the bath salts has seized control of the brain, there is no return to normality. The ‘high’ may not be there, but those people will never find their former selves. The former has died and they are reanimated into people who would spread this epidemic on the rest of us.
So how will it spread? I can only speculate, but lend me your mind and I will write you a picture.
A man (if you can call someone who would do this a man)… okay… an idiot goes to the store and purchases some bath salts because it isn’t necessarily illegal, and it can’t get, or doesn’t want to mess with the illegality of meth… the ‘why’ is not important, only that it is purchased, and consumed. Said idiot is alone, this time, and though it doesn’t attack any persons on this occasion, the damage is done! The idiot is feeling poorly due to the subsequent, and inevitable psychological ‘come down’ that follows all drug-induced highs, so it calls its friend to come over and try it (misery loves company!). Enter second idiot. Both idiots are now engaged in a night of snorting and smoking bath salts. This time, however, something is triggered in idiot number one. What exactly triggers this effect is unknown. We can only observe the outcome. Someone gets eaten…
The two idiots are outside now, naked because the drug is causing them to overheat (fever, anyone?). One (or both) of the idiots are growling and jerkily tearing at each other (inability to control motor functions?). Police are called. Once on scene, the idiots are unresponsive to police commands. An officer discharges his/her firearm into one of the idiots… nothing… the idiot doesn’t even register the shot! Discharge number two… number three… number four!!! Eureka! Whether it was a head shot (which is what I’m leaning towards) or just enough of the vitals destroyed, one idiot is now dead, and the other is taken into custody and isolated in the hospital until it can be moved to be processed in the justice system. While in lock-up, the idiot meets people who, like it, are weak-willed and looking for a cheap high. It tells its story to anything with ears, and oh, are there ears in jail.
Now, one idiot has infected several people with the knowledge and temptation, and wouldn’t you know it, these idiots think (everyone say it with me now!) “It won’t happen to me!”, “because… blah, blah, blah!”.
Now I ask you… Is this not contagious?
Responsible persons, I implore you to arm yourselves for the safety of yourself and your families. If you witness or think you are witnessing people in the throw of zombification; avoid them, and notify the authorities. If you cannot avoid them or contact authorities… put one in their head and sleep well knowing you’ve done the world a favor! But hey, this is just one man’s advise, as I see it!